- Father Ted: God Almighty, that's going to cost a fortune to fix. Where are we going to get the money? Think, Dougal, how can we raise some money?
- Father Dougal: Hmmm....
- Ted: Yes, I know. Aha! (give knowing glance)
- Dougal: Aha!
- Ted: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
- Dougal: I think so, Ted. But now wait, I'm not sure....
- Ted: What?
- Dougal: I mean, it is a big step, and err, where are we going to get the guns?
- Ted: (mystified) What are you talking about?
- Dougal: Oh, wait a minute now - actually I might have been thinking about something different...
- Ted: You thought we were going to rob a bank, didn't you?
- Dougal: I did, yeah!
- Ted: Well, Dougal, this isn't a Bruce Willis film. I was thinking more along the lines of a raffle.
- On you go, Dougal. These guys have been robbing us for years! However, raffle tickets are available from Barbara!
Showing posts with label new hall. Show all posts
Showing posts with label new hall. Show all posts
Saturday, 6 March 2010
New Hall Update
It's been suggested that we need to have some anchorage system on the roof for all the workers needing to fix the leaks which they are responsible for. We can't afford it! A script from Fr Ted, taking on Dougal's suggestion might be a good idea:
Wednesday, 3 March 2010
And Life Belts Will Be Provided
Oh! The woes! Back to the spanking new Community Hall we had built last year. It's a beautiful hall, no doubt about it! Lots of space, well fit for purpose, and being extensively used by community groups as well as the congregation. It's warm, inviting, and even the loo lights go on automatically as you enter to answer calls of nature!
The only problem is that it leaks. No, that is an understatement. The water comes pouring in at several points whenever it rains. We are talking of buckets needing emptied after about three hours, internal ceilings buckling and bits falling off and cracking, and doors being warped by water ingress.
Our local MP had a private party there last week and guests had to either step over buckets or empty them as the party progressed. How embarrassing!
Of course it's the Rector's fault! Whoever, in their right mind would have sanctioned a flat roof in the West of Scotland, not known for its copious amount of sunshine? However, we were assured by everyone, including Richmond Architects, that there would be no problem. Leaking flat roofs were things of the past, and the modern material used would keep us watertight for a lifetime.
DCF Builders subcontracted the roofing work to Polyroof, and another firm Briggs Amasco, I believe, were also involved. There have been leaks since Day One, but now the situation is untenable. In fact, it's taking over the form of a pantomime! The roofers are blaming the builders for not getting the capping right, but as time goes on, it's becoming obvious that this is not the major issue, and it's poor, shoddy workmanship on somebody's part.
This cost us a third of a million pounds for goodness sake!
The joiners were up on the roof yesterday, trying to stop some of the water ingress. Enter Health and Safety who ordered them down because there was no safety rail and they weren't wearing any harnesses. Now, how do we get around this one?
The monstrous regiment of wimmin in St Augustine's, well three of them, have taken up the cudgel! They fought and won a recent little dispute with HBOS, thank you HBOS for the generous cheque, and now plan on taking on the roofing issue. Words like "Trading Standards" are being whispered in corners, and these whirling dervishes are not to be messed with.
I believe we may have a solution soon, even though it may be against the laws of physics, Scottie!
The only problem is that it leaks. No, that is an understatement. The water comes pouring in at several points whenever it rains. We are talking of buckets needing emptied after about three hours, internal ceilings buckling and bits falling off and cracking, and doors being warped by water ingress.
Our local MP had a private party there last week and guests had to either step over buckets or empty them as the party progressed. How embarrassing!
Of course it's the Rector's fault! Whoever, in their right mind would have sanctioned a flat roof in the West of Scotland, not known for its copious amount of sunshine? However, we were assured by everyone, including Richmond Architects, that there would be no problem. Leaking flat roofs were things of the past, and the modern material used would keep us watertight for a lifetime.
DCF Builders subcontracted the roofing work to Polyroof, and another firm Briggs Amasco, I believe, were also involved. There have been leaks since Day One, but now the situation is untenable. In fact, it's taking over the form of a pantomime! The roofers are blaming the builders for not getting the capping right, but as time goes on, it's becoming obvious that this is not the major issue, and it's poor, shoddy workmanship on somebody's part.
This cost us a third of a million pounds for goodness sake!
The joiners were up on the roof yesterday, trying to stop some of the water ingress. Enter Health and Safety who ordered them down because there was no safety rail and they weren't wearing any harnesses. Now, how do we get around this one?
The monstrous regiment of wimmin in St Augustine's, well three of them, have taken up the cudgel! They fought and won a recent little dispute with HBOS, thank you HBOS for the generous cheque, and now plan on taking on the roofing issue. Words like "Trading Standards" are being whispered in corners, and these whirling dervishes are not to be messed with.
I believe we may have a solution soon, even though it may be against the laws of physics, Scottie!
Tuesday, 1 December 2009
If Only the Vicar were Here
I remember my folk singing days well! Give me a guitar, and I'd have a three chord bash at anything! This was a long time ago, as those who have listened to me trying to play recently will testify to, but I was passable, and with a now infamous Canon of the SEC, sang in a duo for a month in England for free drinks!
One song which was a favourite of mine I remember as being rather funny, with a catalogue of disasters visiting the average congregation. However, the chorus was full of hope:
"If only the Vicar were here,
If only the Vicar were here,
He'd know what to do,
Yes, he'd pull us through,
If only the Vicar were here!"
(These were days long before the ordination of women!)
The concept was basic. Whatever befell the parish, the Vicar would sort it. The ordained would settle arguments, clear drains, organise a rota, or form a committee.
In many ways these days are gone, and folk now in our congregations assume responsibility. After all, it's their parish, and they will be left long after the clergyperson has departed from their midst. In fact, many congregations have to take the responsibility because they only "own" a little bit of the stipendiary priest, sharing that priest with other congregations, or have a non-stipendiary who has a full-time job too.
However, when things go wrong, it's nice to have someone through whom grumbles can be channelled!
We're short of a Property Convenor at the moment, in St Aug's, which means that I'm taking this stuff on board at a bad time too! The New Hall is one major headache. Moving into a newly completed, or nearly completed building is always a headache with snagging to be done. Snagging is the big list of little things that are not "quite right" and need to be sorted. I think I can handle the snagging! The issues aren't big and are soon sorted out, usually.
However, there are a handful of issues in the New Hall that go far beyond the "snagging", and the builders are being incredibly slow, or incredibly unhelpful, in sorting them out. A kitchen window, the mechanism of which is clearly broken has been on the list for nearly 6 weeks now. The dishwasher can't drain because of the way the plumbing has been put in. (6 weeks for this, too) The wooden cladding has still to be bolted on to the exterior. This was started just yesterday and is a rather big and important job.
Meanwhile, yes I can't believe it either, the final bill has come in from the builders now we have completion!
However, I've left the best until last! The roof is leaking like a sieve and the joiner has sorted this by drilling two holes in the ceiling to let the water through. The roofers blame the builders and vice-versa.
If only the Vicar were here.......
One song which was a favourite of mine I remember as being rather funny, with a catalogue of disasters visiting the average congregation. However, the chorus was full of hope:
"If only the Vicar were here,
If only the Vicar were here,
He'd know what to do,
Yes, he'd pull us through,
If only the Vicar were here!"
(These were days long before the ordination of women!)
The concept was basic. Whatever befell the parish, the Vicar would sort it. The ordained would settle arguments, clear drains, organise a rota, or form a committee.
In many ways these days are gone, and folk now in our congregations assume responsibility. After all, it's their parish, and they will be left long after the clergyperson has departed from their midst. In fact, many congregations have to take the responsibility because they only "own" a little bit of the stipendiary priest, sharing that priest with other congregations, or have a non-stipendiary who has a full-time job too.
However, when things go wrong, it's nice to have someone through whom grumbles can be channelled!
We're short of a Property Convenor at the moment, in St Aug's, which means that I'm taking this stuff on board at a bad time too! The New Hall is one major headache. Moving into a newly completed, or nearly completed building is always a headache with snagging to be done. Snagging is the big list of little things that are not "quite right" and need to be sorted. I think I can handle the snagging! The issues aren't big and are soon sorted out, usually.
However, there are a handful of issues in the New Hall that go far beyond the "snagging", and the builders are being incredibly slow, or incredibly unhelpful, in sorting them out. A kitchen window, the mechanism of which is clearly broken has been on the list for nearly 6 weeks now. The dishwasher can't drain because of the way the plumbing has been put in. (6 weeks for this, too) The wooden cladding has still to be bolted on to the exterior. This was started just yesterday and is a rather big and important job.
Meanwhile, yes I can't believe it either, the final bill has come in from the builders now we have completion!
However, I've left the best until last! The roof is leaking like a sieve and the joiner has sorted this by drilling two holes in the ceiling to let the water through. The roofers blame the builders and vice-versa.
If only the Vicar were here.......
Thursday, 22 October 2009
Alleluia!
The wooden handrails on the entrance ramp to the New Hall is almost all finished. Do we dare to dream of a Completion Certificate tomorrow?
Friday, 9 October 2009
Heather our Heroine!
We have been greatly blessed by having the best wee woman joiner in Dumbarton during the building of the hall. Heather has just been fantastic! Not only is she a wonderful craftsperson, but also a joy to work with. Nothing has been any trouble for her, and she has helped us above and beyond the call of duty whenever she has been asked.
So, Heather wins the “Brick of the Year Award”, and we got to present her with some flowers at our opening party, much to her embarrassment!!
Thursday, 8 October 2009
Saturday, 3 October 2009
Hall Together Now...
Well, what a day of activity. The builders in their droves were working like wee ants, and the new hall is all ready to house tomorrow evening's celebration Centre of the World Party. There was almost a glitch, but temporary handrails on the new walkway make it all safe, and the inside is just crying out for our stuff which should be moving in tomorrow morning/afternoon. I even get a set of keys tomorrow!
There is going to be a fair bit of snagging, so I expect the workers to be around for a week or two yet, but they will not be in my way. Community Groups may have to wait for a week or so yet for occupancy, but it will be worth the wait!
It really is a big weekend, and Thistle spanking Airdrie tomorrow will just be the icing on the cake!
There is going to be a fair bit of snagging, so I expect the workers to be around for a week or two yet, but they will not be in my way. Community Groups may have to wait for a week or so yet for occupancy, but it will be worth the wait!
It really is a big weekend, and Thistle spanking Airdrie tomorrow will just be the icing on the cake!
Wednesday, 16 September 2009
New Hall
It feels like one step forward and two steps back, most of the time.
We are now proclaiming that the "Opening Party" will be on October 3rd. This will be our third attempt at choosing a date, and we ARE having the party! The inside work is really complete and has been for two weeks or so now, we just can't get access, although some little things need to be done. It would be nice to have the gas urn fitted, to give us hot tea, and if this could be done, plus the connection of the new cooker, I would overlook the niceties, like having white boards and notice boards etc mounted. Or even the hall cupboards being built!
Our chairs, due to be delivered last Monday have still to arrive, (I'm told today that they want the money first), and tables should be on their way. Aye! Maybe.
The fact that I'm in The Gambia from 21st-30th September doesn't bode well for the run up to October 3rd, but I have faith that when I return on the 30th the exterior will have been transmogrified!
And the phone line might still be working!
We are now proclaiming that the "Opening Party" will be on October 3rd. This will be our third attempt at choosing a date, and we ARE having the party! The inside work is really complete and has been for two weeks or so now, we just can't get access, although some little things need to be done. It would be nice to have the gas urn fitted, to give us hot tea, and if this could be done, plus the connection of the new cooker, I would overlook the niceties, like having white boards and notice boards etc mounted. Or even the hall cupboards being built!
Our chairs, due to be delivered last Monday have still to arrive, (I'm told today that they want the money first), and tables should be on their way. Aye! Maybe.
The fact that I'm in The Gambia from 21st-30th September doesn't bode well for the run up to October 3rd, but I have faith that when I return on the 30th the exterior will have been transmogrified!
And the phone line might still be working!
Friday, 11 September 2009
Screws Loose
The architect has just decided which type of screw that's needed to fix the outer cladding to the new hall. They have to be ordered, of course!
Thursday, 10 September 2009
New Hall Headaches
Well, we were supposed to take possession of our new hall on August 28th, St Augustine's Day, and half way through September, we'll still be waiting for a couple of weeks! Party rescheduled for October 3rd, and I'm even beginning to wonder if it will be all done by then!
Trying to move our BT line back into the hall has been a nightmare, and, I'm sorry, but call centres in India should be banned if they can't understand a simple instruction! Not only do we have no phone/internet connection now, but BT have given away the Church number to OFTEL, and we have to request it back, but only after they've given us another number!! You couldn't make this up!
The cost of our tables and chairs almost doubled from the original quote, and we had to go back to the beginning and start again. God bless Viking who gave us a brilliant quote for banqueting chairs!
The cooker we bought was delivered with a damaged door. They sent a new cooker, but meanwhile a gas-fitter had connected the damaged one up, so the delivery man couldn't have taken the damaged one away, even if he'd wanted to. He didn't want to, anyway, because it wasn't palleted up and in it's original packaging. I explained we had to take the original packaging off to discover that it was damaged, but he was having none of that! We now have three cookers, believe it or not! (Old one still in storage)
One of the seals on the extra big windows is damaged and needs replaced.
Door closers have still to arrive.
We can't get the cladding on the outside because it rains nearly every day.
The fitting of the new boilers are causing problems, so at least another week with no heating in church.
But, apart from that, everything is hunky-dory!
Trying to move our BT line back into the hall has been a nightmare, and, I'm sorry, but call centres in India should be banned if they can't understand a simple instruction! Not only do we have no phone/internet connection now, but BT have given away the Church number to OFTEL, and we have to request it back, but only after they've given us another number!! You couldn't make this up!
The cost of our tables and chairs almost doubled from the original quote, and we had to go back to the beginning and start again. God bless Viking who gave us a brilliant quote for banqueting chairs!
The cooker we bought was delivered with a damaged door. They sent a new cooker, but meanwhile a gas-fitter had connected the damaged one up, so the delivery man couldn't have taken the damaged one away, even if he'd wanted to. He didn't want to, anyway, because it wasn't palleted up and in it's original packaging. I explained we had to take the original packaging off to discover that it was damaged, but he was having none of that! We now have three cookers, believe it or not! (Old one still in storage)
One of the seals on the extra big windows is damaged and needs replaced.
Door closers have still to arrive.
We can't get the cladding on the outside because it rains nearly every day.
The fitting of the new boilers are causing problems, so at least another week with no heating in church.
But, apart from that, everything is hunky-dory!
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