Examination of conscience can be a tricky business, especially since we can easily delude ourselves that our faults and failings aren't too bad, especially compared to others, like folk who bug us greatly! (If only they could change, then the world would be a better place, for me anyway!) We can spend a lot of time trying to change other folk, when in reality it's us who needs a-changin'!
Where to start, though? How do we begin this examination of conscience that is imperative if we are to grow as people and reform our, almost spotless, selves? Some start at the Seven Deadly Sins, wrath, greed, sloth, pride, lust, envy, and gluttony. See if you find yourself in that lot! I only manage four out of seven, but that's me, probably, being greatly deluded!
I mention this after reading some stuff lately which required a great deal of self-examination. (Oh! It's easy to shove it aside when it gets too painful!) However, before I did, it hit me over the head with my major, favourite sin, and that would be my propensity for procrastination.
I'm sure this is what is alluded to in general confessions, when they talk about forgiving us those things we have done, but also those things we have failed to do! In reality my life is not so much littered with sins I have done which might cripple me inside, but with those myriad things I have failed to do.
It is argued by some that sloth covers this stuff, but I have other ideas! Sure, I can be a lazy "so-and-so" at times, but many of the things I fail to do are due to other factors rather than sloth!
Sometimes fear holds me back... fear that I will be found wanting, fear of what others might say or how they will react, but sometimes a lack of faith in my own ability will hold me back, too. If only I could have a bit more faith in the fact that God usually gives us the tools to do the things that ought to be done but which I haven't done for that reason!
Many people ask me why I don't play golf, and the reason for that is that I tried it once, as a lad, was totally unable to hit a ball, never mind hitting it straight, and so I gave up, never to try again. It's a personality defect, I guess, that I'll leave things alone in which I may open myself to ridicule! Pride maybe? No, another little sin..... that of perfectionism! I realised a long time ago that I only really do things, unless I definitely have to, that I know will be done well and perhaps even admired by others!
So with procrastination and perfectionism ready to be tackled, starting with the public confession to Blogland, I now have to tackle these things that I ought to have done, and continue to thank God that I'm not as bad as other folk.
Really..............?!? I've just added the other three deadly sins as distinct possibilities!
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