After a deluge of mail, well about ten enquiries, asking where my blogging had gone, I return to the Blogosphere today! Not that too many will have missed me, I'm sure. I remind myself that I mostly blog for myself rather than others. It's just as well, because my statistics show as much support for my ramblings as the Tories have in Scotland. If I strike a chord with someone else, then well and good.
The truth is that the last wee while has been miserable for me anyway. I don't take kindly to the sort of man-cold I've been suffering from, and it's not good to be continually wiping snot from the screen while you're typing! Add that to the dip in my mood anyway, which I always have at this time of year, when daylight is fast disappearing and clouds and rain seem to be the norm. October clouds and rain tend to be worse that those in July.
There has been another reason, though, and that is the fact that my trusty laptop died. All my life was on there.. photos, favourite wee programmes, inspirational crap, and a million other wee things which were an extension to my brain. We had a wonderful relationship and now it has died. The memories are still there.. photos and files have been backed up on an external hard drive, but that's not the issue. It's like losing a very close friend or relative. You still have the photos and the letters, but the wee things that made the relationship so special have gone. The wee programmes, the familiarity, the feeling on my lap, the knowledge of what we could do together, and knowing each others capabilities and failings. Between us we updated the Blog and had Facebook fun together.
It was a relationship which made me jealous when she was being used by others, however briefly, because we belonged to each other. It was an intimate coming together in the morning and last thing at night. In between times, I "worked" on the Big Beast in the study, but that was work and we both understood that, or I grappled with the little tiddler in the Church Office, which was slow and cumbersome, not unlike the Church itself.
My Smartphone and I have never really got on with each other, but it alerted me to messages that we had to deal with together. The Smartphone knows that I'd rather have an iPhone anyway, so it continually plays up and lets me down. Apart from a couple of trips to the computer hospital, my old laptop never let me down. Never.
Oh! I've tried! My laptop has been replaced with a wee machine which belongs to the parish, but it's not mine, and it's slow too, and doesn't have access to the external hard-drive anyway. I'm still in mourning, and could be for some time! Santa-time may bring me something which I can begin again with, but until such times, I'll struggle on with poor relationships which are really just ones made on the rebound. Unfulfilling, tiresome and going through the motions.
It was five years, dear friend, and during that time you became filled with much that we enjoyed together. If your replacement, when it comes, gives me half the buzz, then I'll be eternally grateful!