Tuesday, 22 December 2009

Continuing Saga

Dad moved into his new Retirement Home on Friday, but has been causing lots of problems since. Today, at a Social work assessment I was made aware that this was a four-week trial and things were not looking good. He's been aggressive, insulting and downright nasty to staff and clients, although at times his good side is still shining through. It really is the dementia. My dad was never like this, and I'm close to total despair at the moment.

Where he goes from here I don't know, although he's made it very clear that I should be having him to stay at the Rectory and I should be looking after him. We just couldn't cope.

Staff are saying that he will become more unsettled if we take him to the Rectory for Christmas dinner, but I don't know if I could live with myself if he wasn't here.

5 comments:

susan s. said...

Oh, Kenny, I am so sorry this is happening, and I am praying for you. I know it sounds cruel, but the staff is right. It will take him even longer to settle in if the routine is disturbed this soon in the process. I could say more, but you probably don't want to hear any more from a complete stranger. Love to you and the RW.

Fr Kenny said...

Oh Susan! I don't see you as a stranger at all! Have a smashing Christmas!

susan s. said...

Only if you do!

Chris said...

Kenny - Susan is right, and so are the staff. Don't beat yourself up. You have to live the life you're in now - not someone else's. Think: would you want your family to do this for you in the same circs?

Fr Kenny said...

It's going to be a difficult decision either way. I honestly don't think he would willingly go back and dragging him into the car with tears and/or shouting would be dreadful. He can't have lots to drink either, and that would cause a scene and tears and/or shouting. On the other hand he is still alive and just down the road. if he is not among us, the turkey may taste rather stale...