If Only the Vicar were Here

I remember my folk singing days well! Give me a guitar, and I'd have a three chord bash at anything! This was a long time ago, as those who have listened to me trying to play recently will testify to, but I was passable, and with a now infamous Canon of the SEC, sang in a duo for a month in England for free drinks!

One song which was a favourite of mine I remember as being rather funny, with a catalogue of disasters visiting the average congregation. However, the chorus was full of hope:

"If only the Vicar were here,
If only the Vicar were here,
He'd know what to do,
Yes, he'd pull us through,
If only the Vicar were here!"

(These were days long before the ordination of women!)

The concept was basic. Whatever befell the parish, the Vicar would sort it. The ordained would settle arguments, clear drains, organise a rota, or form a committee.

In many ways these days are gone, and folk now in our congregations assume responsibility. After all, it's their parish, and they will be left long after the clergyperson has departed from their midst. In fact, many congregations have to take the responsibility because they only "own" a little bit of the stipendiary priest, sharing that priest with other congregations, or have a non-stipendiary who has a full-time job too.

However, when things go wrong, it's nice to have someone through whom grumbles can be channelled!

We're short of a Property Convenor at the moment, in St Aug's, which means that I'm taking this stuff on board at a bad time too! The New Hall is one major headache. Moving into a newly completed, or nearly completed building is always a headache with snagging to be done. Snagging is the big list of little things that are not "quite right" and need to be sorted. I think I can handle the snagging! The issues aren't big and are soon sorted out, usually.

However, there are a handful of issues in the New Hall that go far beyond the "snagging", and the builders are being incredibly slow, or incredibly unhelpful, in sorting them out. A kitchen window, the mechanism of which is clearly broken has been on the list for nearly 6 weeks now. The dishwasher can't drain because of the way the plumbing has been put in. (6 weeks for this, too) The wooden cladding has still to be bolted on to the exterior. This was started just yesterday and is a rather big and important job.

Meanwhile, yes I can't believe it either, the final bill has come in from the builders now we have completion!

However, I've left the best until last! The roof is leaking like a sieve and the joiner has sorted this by drilling two holes in the ceiling to let the water through. The roofers blame the builders and vice-versa.

If only the Vicar were here.......