Friday, 30 April 2010

Voting in the Ways of Dog

From our Parish Magazine this month, I have no hesitation in recommending you read the following snippet from our "Gossip Column". To compare dogs you know with political parties, or individuals can be fun. In the parish we have five main players. This is how they fared...


As a follower of ‘Over the Rainbow’s’ quest for a new Toto it occurred to me that the political parties were missing a terrific opportunity to accumulate votes. A caninedidate would help their candidate greatly in conveying the desirable qualities of honesty, loyalty and friendliness. Just look at how well St.Auggie’s doggies would fit the bill!

The Tory candidate could be photographed with Toastie a fully pedigreed member of the Kennel Club with royal associations. Yes, the Toastie Manifesto would be read in homes throughout the land.

The Labour Party would certainly prefer Nina, the Jack Russell. Not accepted by those snobby Crufts creatures, Nina is a basic dog given to much yelling and yapping for fairness and sharing as long as her share is bigger than anyone else’s and she gets it first!

Archie, the Golden Retriever, would surely find his home with the Greens. A friend of the earth who proves it by continually rolling in its muddier sections and removing any offending picnics from the grass.

Peanut, on the other hand doesn’t care about being a doggy aristocrat and would be an ideal soul mate for Nick Clegg with her attractive and pleasing personality combined with all the charisma of a right wee chancer.

Now the SNP is looking for a champion and our attractive West Highland terrier, Keira, is just the dog for the job. Keira can start a fight with bigger dogs then run off and say it’s not her fault!

So, forget kissing those babies and cuddle a canine. Every St. Auggie’s Doggie comes with its own WDC supply of Bio(Pooh)Bags with instructions for usage in seven different languages. Gaelic is not yet available but Alex is working on it. Get ahead - get a vote - get a hound!

No comments: