Wednesday, 6 May 2009

Church Unveils New Swine Flu Vestments

The Church of England has announced that following its introduction of special swine flu prayers, new clergy vestments are now available in case of a further outbreak of the deadly virus.

The discreet vestments (see left) make it possible for church life to go on absolutely as normal. Each clergy suit is hermetically sealed to provide 8 hours of total biological protection from parishioners, visitors, Alpha group leaders, the organist, fellow clergy and other noxious hazards.

"I don't know why the Archbishop hasn't issued them before now – they would have been a life saver during after-church coffee," said Revd Ian Fluenza, who donned his new vestments as soon as he received them, and is said to be sleeping in them.

The vestments, which are in liturgical orange, are intended for use at the Service of Commemoration for the Loss of a Mexican Holiday, and other new Church of England liturgies.

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